Why Can't You Understand?
by songwriter1114
Summary: Jacob and Bella have been best friends all their lives, and they've been secretly in love with each other. What happens when Bella starts acting different? And what happens when a normally shameless act ruins their relationship? some sensuality
1. Chapter 1

JAKE'S POV

"C'mon Jake, where the hell are you taking me?" Bella was getting angrier by the second.

"Just wait, we're almost there!" Her and I had been walking for almost an hour now. Last year, if I had taken her on an adventure like this, she probably would have been laughing the whole time, cracking jokes and purposely tripping over things just to make me laugh. She used to _love_ to laugh. I don't think I've seen her smile in a month.

When I first met Bella, she was three years old. Her and her dad were moving in right next door to our house in Forks, Washington, and the minute I saw her, my heart exploded. Ever since, I've been in love. Supposedly, my mom and her mom had also been best friends since they were toddlers. They were pregnant at the same, too, but my mom died giving birth to me. Bella's mom couldn't take the pain of losing her best friend, so she hung herself. Just like that, and she was gone. They moved here from Arizona a month later, and we've been super close ever since.

But recently, Bella isn't the same. It's our freshman year at Forks High, and Bella has never been more serious about school. She takes notes like crazy in class, plays field hockey in the afternoon, and then does homework all evening. She doesn't even surf anymore! It's only the beginning of October, but her behavior is killing me. Where is the girl who never stopped smiling? Where is the girl who wouldn't stop dancing and singing, even if everyone was staring? Where was the fearless, happy girl that I knew? Where was my best friend?

"Ow!" Bella yelped as she stubbed her toe on a rock. The cliffs of La Push beach seemed to go on forever as I tried to lead the way. "Jake, can't we stop and rest?"

"Are you kidding? Look, I can almost see the place! Just be patient."

"Whatever, but if I don't have time to finish my homework before I get home, there will be hell to pay." I laughed. Her temper was so extreme nowadays, it was almost funny. But maybe that was just me trying to block out the fact that she had changed.

"Look, I'm freezing. Maybe we should turn back."

"Bella! Stop complaining! Here," I took off my shirt and put it on her. Secretly, I loved when she told me that she was cold, because it gave me an excuse to take my shirt off. Dumb, I know, but every thing counts. I love this girl more then anything, temper or not, so if showing off the result of 7 years of surfing is what I have to do, then I'll do it.

"Here we are," I said. We finally reached the very last cliff in La Push.

"Ok, I don't get it. Why did you take me here?"

I couldn't believe that she didn't remember! This place was one of the best parts of our childhood! That girl really was losing her mind.

"Bells, don't you remember? Back in 6th grade, you and I decided that we wanted to go cliff diving. We came to this cliff because it was the farthest away, and we didn't want anyone to find us." This was also the day when I saw her in a bikini for the first time since she started puberty. But, I decided to leave that part out.

"Wow. I can't believe I forgot," gasped Bella.

"Yeah, you've been forgetting a lot of things lately," I tried to discreetly mumble, but she heard me loud and clear.

"What?"

"Look, it's not important, Bells. Let's just enjoy this." The sun began to set.

"No! Tell me what you mean."

Great, I should've shut my stupid mouth. It's not that I was afraid of her, or anything, but getting in a fight with Bella just meant her slapping me and then me apologizing. Always.

"Uhh... well, its nothing, really. But, I don't know…" I couldn't bring myself to tell her how it felt. It already hurt enough to know that my love for her would never be requited (not that she'd ever told me this, nor have I admitted that I love her), but now I had to go through her neglecting me on a daily basis. I can't even sneak in her window to hang out after her dad went to sleep anymore. She always just tells me that she's doing homework.

"Alright, here it goes. You're not the same, Bells. You don't talk the same, you don't sing like you used to, and you don't ever laugh. You don't go surfing with me, you don't come over to my house to watch TV and eat dinner anymore, and the only times we ever hang out are when I drive you to and from school. Otherwise, it's all about schoolwork."

Bella's dark hair blew out of her face from the wind, and I could see her eyes. She was filled with more emotion then I had seen in a while.

"Jake, it's not that I don't want to hang with you anymore. I just cant. It's hard for you to understand, since you're, like, the class under-achiever or whatever, but school is really important to me."

_Ouch_.

"C'mon, Bells. You know you've changed. I know the works gotten harder, but can't you afford a couple of B's? What happened to us?"

I realized just then that the way I said "us" sounded like I was talking about a couple. Man, I wish it could be like that. I'm 15 years old, and I still haven't had my first kiss. I've been waiting for her; I've been waiting since I was three. Why can't she understand?

"Ugh! You don't understand!" she exclaimed.

"No, _you_ don't understand, Bella! You're my best friend. You have been for, like, 12 years! You can't just go and start acting weird! It doesn't make sense. School isn't even _that_ hard. So why are you so different?" I couldn't contain my anger. I was wrapped around Bella's finger, and yet she was slowly suffocating me.

Bella took of my shirt and threw it at me.

"I have to go," she said swiftly. And within one movement, I was suddenly alone. Bella was gone. Not just from this cliff, but from my life. She had changed, and I was starting to think it was permanent.

BELLA'S POV

How could Jake get so mad at me like that? I haven't changed _that _much, I'm just more serious now. God, why did he have to be so judgmental? He didn't know what it was like. Him and I had gone through everything together. What's with him? I finally got home after running across La Push beach. I was on such an adrenaline rush, that I didn't even realize how tired I'd become.

"Bella? Is that you?" Charlie yelled from the couch as I ran through the door.

"Yeah dad. I'm gonna go upstairs to finish my homework." _Just like every day_, I thought to myself.

"Wait!" He called. I groaned, and then sat down next to him on the couch.

"What?"

"Bella, don't you think you've been working _a lot _lately? Take a breather; come watch the game with me. I think Billy's coming over in a bit. You and Jacob should watch a movie or something."

"It's late dad, let me do my homework," I replied. Had Jake said something to dad too?

"Well, just wait a min-"

"Leave me alone!" I cut him off before he could finish and ran upstairs to my room. _No one_ understood! There was just too much pressure. I was already center forward, captain of the field hockey team, class president, head of 4 different clubs at my school, and just trying to keep up my 4.0 GPA. Why was that so hard to grasp?

And then, there was that other thing: my love for Jacob. I had spent my whole childhood pining over him. Everything he did, everything he said was just music to me. I loved being his best friend, because I knew I was his favorite person on earth. But why couldn't he love me? Why couldn't he just tell me that he felt the same way? It would all be so different if that were the case, but I've recently learned that that's just too much to ask for, so I started focusing on other things, like school. Cupid's arrow isn't always double-sided, and this arrow _certainly_ wasn't.

It was about midnight now and I had been working for a while, when I heard a knock on my window.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed as I opened the window. He was standing in a tree, leaning against my room. I remember when he used to come over every night. But I didn't want him to anymore. It made me want him too much, and I couldn't get wrapped up in something that would never happen.

"Jake, I have too much homework. You have to go home."

"I'm not taking 'no' for an answer," he replied as he crawled into my room. "We need to talk."

"We already did, remember? I don't have time for this." I was getting so frustrated. I couldn't let him do this to me.

"Sit down," he ordered. Usually I wouldn't have taken this, but I was growing tired and I decided it was easier just to do as he said.

"Bella, I didn't mean to be so hard on you earlier, but I'm serious about this. I don't know what's happened to you. I, uh, I kinda miss you. You don't act like my best friend anymore." On his last word, Jacob took my hand in his. I almost cried, I hadn't felt his touch in so long. I missed him too.

"Here's the thing, Bells. Why don't you just stop playing field hockey, and maybe drop a club or two. That way, you can work on those dark circles forming under your eyes, and we can hang out more. You can still keep up your GPA." He sounded so sincere; it was hard to reject him. He had me right back into his trap. Ugh, I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen! I couldn't take it. It hurt too much. But… I did miss him. A lot.

I looked up into his eyes, and was suddenly reminded about why I loved him. Even when he was sad or angry or just serious, there was always a hint of a smile in his face. He was always happy. I thought back to when I used to be like that, and I suddenly felt cold. I could be like that again, if I wanted to. Yes, I'd be back, hopelessly loving him, but I would be happy. And I would be spending time with Jake, which I missed more then anything.

"I guess…" it was hard to get the words out. I didn't even want to admit to myself that I had fallen again. "I guess I could drop a few things. I'll try to act like myself, I really will. But you have to understand that I'm not going to lose my GPA. That's is the most important thing."

He paused before he began to speak.

"As long as you start acting like yourself again, I'm cool with whatever."

And that's when I realized how much he cared about me. We've always had each other's back, but it wasn't until now that it really dawned on me: Jake loves me. Obviously, he didn't love me the way that I loved him. He loved me as a sister. But either way, it was love, and love can always be transformed… maybe I had a chance. Just then, I thought of something that might work. It was a long shot, and it could end badly, but it was worth a try. I, Bella Swan, was about to make Jacob Black a jealous monster.


	2. Chapter 2

JAKE'S POV

I impatiently honked the horn as I saw Bella running to the car. I had been waiting in front of the school for an hour now, and I just wanted to spend some time with my best friend.

"What took you so long?" I asked her as she climbed into the passenger seat of my old Volkswagen. Technically, I wasn't allowed to be driving for a whole other year, but I had been practicing since I was 12, and my dad wasn't about to turn me in. It's not like he could drive, with his wheelchair and all.

"Sorry, jeez! Quitting field hockey and resigning as captain isn't a simple task," she slammed the car door with her last words.

"How did it go?"

"Fine, I guess, but there was this guy sitting on the sidelines with his friends who kept making eyes at me. It was kind of weird, I think he was checking me out."

Checking her out? No, that couldn't be. Yes, she was beautiful, and yes, she used to be fun, but since when did any guy see her the way I did? Scratch that. _No one_ could possibly see her the way I do. No one knows her like I do. Besides, just because he's interested, doesn't mean she is. But a new question suddenly filled my thoughts. Who was the guy?

"What guy was it? There aren't too many people at this school, Bells. I'm sure you know who he is."

"Well… I forget his name, but I'm pretty sure he's the guy who used to give you wedgies back in middle school," she replied with a chuckle.

"Wait, you mean Mike Newton?" I asked in horror. My face burned at the thought. He was notorious for womanizing, and I wasn't about to let him do that to _my_ girl.

"Yeah! That's him. I wonder if he likes me. What do you think?"

"I think that if he does, he's got a lot ahead of him."

"Thanks, Jake. I can always count on you," she said sarcastically. I was glad her old self was starting to seep back in.

"So, uh, you wanna stay over for dinner tonight? It's Friday, so I think your dad's coming over anyways to watch the game. C'mon, we could just chill like we used to. Maybe we could surf." I held my breath awaiting her answer. Usually, we would hang out together nearly every day. But she's become so distant, that I feel like I don't even know her. Yet, of course, I still loved her. What was wrong with me?

"Sure, I miss surfing. Let me just go to my house to grab my stuff."

BELLA'S POV

Jake looked so beautiful walking along the beach. His bare arm was casually wrapped around my shoulders as he told me about his latest set of pranks on our school principal. _Same old Jake,_ I thought. He only had his swim trunks on, and I could feel the heat from his copper skin next to mine. I hadn't been this close to him physically or mentally since school started, and it reminded me summer.

_"Jake, watch out!" I screamed as a giant wave crashed over his smiling face. He quickly pulled himself back up and stood, trying to balance himself in the center of his surfboard. He never was good at surfing._

_"Aw, c'mon, Bells! The water's beautiful! Grab your board and come in!" He tried to yell for me as another wave crashed over him. I couldn't help but laugh. He had no shame in his lack of talent. I quickly grabbed my board and paddled out to him._

_"Watch and learn from the master," I said with a smirk. I stood up and swiftly rode a wave until it sunk down over the sand. "Bet you can't do that! Eat my dust!"_

_"Oh yeah? Watch me!" Jake climbed up and tried to stand, but he didn't stay balanced for more then a few seconds until he fell off. I just laughed. He was _horrible_ at surfing, yet he went with me, every single day. "Let's just sit and talk for a minute, 'kay?" _

_He positioned our boards so the were parallel to each other, and we sat face to face. _

_"What did you wanna talk about?" I asked._

_"Why didn't you tell me that Jessica and Angela were bullying you?" he asked. _

_I turned my head down, ashamed, not wanting to meet his eyes. "How did you find out about that?" Jessica and Angela were the popular girls. They had all the friends, all the guys, and they were captain of the cheerleading squad. Every day, they would find some way to put me down. But, I was smarter then them. And I was smart enough to know that they acted this way because they were just jealous and self-conscious. Still, the way the treated me was kind of hurtful._

_I heard them talking about it on their way out of the gym. Bells, I'm your best friend. Why the hell would you wanna hide something like that from me?"_

_"Jake, it's not that I wanted to hide it from you. I'm trying to hide it from everyone. Ugh, it makes feel so stupid! I'm not some kind of weird outcast, so why should people know that their trying to make me feel like one?"_

_My head was still turned down, but I suddenly felt Jakes warm hand reach under my chin and lift my face to meet his. I could've just melted, right then and there. I wanted him so badly. His eyes were filled with sincerity, and it made me want to cry. He wasn't even a normal guy! He cared so much, and he was the perfect best friend. Wh couldn't he love me too?_

_"Never hide that stuff from me, Bella. I can't protect you if you don't let me."_

_"That's exactly it! Getting you involved would just make it seem like a big deal, and I just want to let it go. Some jealous girls are trying to be mean to me, so what? You know I'm not going to let it get to me."_

_Jake sighed and released hid hand from my chin. "Whatever you say, Bells. Whatever you say."_

_I shrugged it off and lay down on my board. "Race you back to the beach!" I yelled and was suddenly off toward the sand. _

I wish things could be like that again. But high school had really taken it's toll on me, and so had the idea that Jake would never love me like that. I I looked down at my purity ring and let out a sigh. I remembered how my dad gave it to me when I was 11, telling me that it used to be my mom's. It was a loving gesture- giving it to me as a gift- especially since I was so focused on my religion. But it also added more pressure. Every time I looked at the ring, I felt like it said, "Bella, you must be as perfect as your mom was, your just not allowed to make the same life-ending mistake that she made". Of course, I had never actually heard this in so many words from my dad, but it was always implied. But today, it didn't matter. This afternoon was all about hanging out with Jake, and trying to act a little bit more like myself.


End file.
